My
by Nalana
Summary: None of that is important though, not in this moment. It's all clutter. The only thing that matters now is keeping you in my arms. WhoTorchwood fic. Warning: Slash. TenJack
1. My Doctor

Disclaimer: I don't own either of them! Nwope!

Author: Nalana (SoulSpinder/ NightsWhisper) Rating: PG-13 for suggestive setting  
Length: 750 words  
Spoilers: Mild for "The Parting of Ways" (Who) "Everything Changes", and "Day One" (Torchwood)  
Archiving: DoctorSlashJack (livejournal), possibly If you want, please contact me.  
Warnings: Slash

* * *

I gaze down at you, my doctor, sleeping within my arms. The room seems to hum around us. I smile at that thought, closing my eyes and listening to the faint sounds of the TARDIS around me. _Oh, I've missed you too girl. How I have missed you!_ I whisper mentally to the mechanism before turning my focus back down at the Time Lord. 

The old him would not have done this. Hell, the old me may not have allowed myself to stay here this long. We've both changed. _Who can say if I've been changed for the better, because I knew you, I have been changed for good._ I sing to myself a tune from a popular musical of this time.

None of that is important though, not in this moment. It's all clutter. The only thing that matters now is keeping you in my arms.

When I first saw you stepping out of the police box into the middle of the Torchwood station I had trembled with the anger that had many nights been focused on the shooting range. The moment your scanning of the room stopped on me, my rage melted with your smile. A light smirk spreads across my face as I picture my staff squirming oddly as I lunged at you and buried my head in your neck, holding you tightly to make sure this wasn't another of my dreams.

I had cried then, openly, in front of all of them. You had been a little shocked but you always adapted quickly. You whispered something to me, something I can't remember now, but your words were magic. Within moments I was introducing them all to my Doctor.

You stir slightly, and my stomach churns. _Don't wake. Please, please… just a little longer, sleep just a little longer. I beg you._ Perhaps you had heard that silent plea because you settle down once more as my fingers brush against your forehead.

Slipping back down onto my pillow, I rest my cheek against the top of your head as you nuzzle into me. If only I could capture this moment like I have your hand. If I could keep it, live in this moment for the rest of the eternity cursed upon me, I would give all the rest of this up.

I'm not stupid. To wish for that is foolish. We both are needed elsewhere. At he very least the universe needs you. That's exactly why I want you to sleep. In this rare slumber you're mine, not a slave of time. There is not a mention of the girl who had become dear to us. There is no threat to Earth or to us. There is no obligation.

When you wake I'll have to decide. Do I stay amongst these people in order to protect the planet that would be my home and the place you love? Or do I toss the thought behind my shoulder and go where I so desperately want to?

It's not even a question. I'm sewn in too deeply to abandon them now. I don't have a choice. I don't have you to blame.

Biting down into my lip until it bleeds my grip on you increases slightly. For a moment your body tenses against mine. Your brow wrinkles and I remember the frailty of the situation.

I must stay though I would give anything to follow you.

You will leave. You will continue on your way, and I will be another speak of dust, simply one of the few to be considerer special enough to stay by your side for a breathe of time. When the end comes, our names will be forgotten, but yours will remain.

When the universe forgets Captain Jack Harkness, will you? Or will you recall me? Would those memories be one of betrayal, for leaving you this time? Or will they simply be dusty files buried in the vast archives of your ancient mind?

Please. No. Don't let me disappear.

Raising a hand I frame your cheek with my palm as I kiss your forehead. I let my watery eyes close. I hadn't even tried to sleep since you had left me. You wrap your arms around me making me feel safe for the first time in ages.

As slumber starts to drift over me, I hear a voice inside my head. In a flash I know it's you. What you say is greater than any angelic chorus.

How could I forget my Captain?


	2. My Captain

Disclaimer: see first chapter, please

Length: 883 words

* * *

You hold me securely, enveloping me with such care. I never would have let any but you do this. I don't need to be sheltered in this manner. I'm the protector. You've always been an exception. 

It's not that you don't want to be guarded. You want nothing more than to not be on the edge of sanity for just a moment. To do that you need to hold on, you need to cling. You need the physical sensation of reality.

Perhaps that's why after your staff had gone off to show my new companion around I had given into you. Perhaps it was the way your defenses had shattered into a million pieces the moment your arms were around me. Maybe it was simply this lonely gap that had been growing within me. Whatever it was, this is where it had ended with you in my bed, embracing me tenderly.

Tenderly. Ha. I'm becoming a sap in my old age. Another excuse.

I shift and your grasp becomes tense. A wave of fear washes over from you and I settle, not wanting to distress you further. Your form may be the same as when we departed, but the wrinkles in your body language are clear indicators that time has had on you.

Your hand is on my face. This form was so different than what you remember. That only seemed to break you even more. My hearts ache as I recall the look of agony your eyes held when we were left to ourselves. I had never seen a person so suave as you so uncertain, so frightened.

That was when we had stumbled down this rocky path. All I had wanted was to see a spark of the old you back, and so I had tried to flirt ferociously as you used to do with anyone you thought merited the effort—myself included. But you would have none of it. If anything, you were disgusted by my actions.

My doctor would never do that! You spat at me. And you were right. The old me would have never gone as far as I did…no matter how many times it had run across my mind.

The momentary flicker of pain at your rejection must have struck a cord within you for in the next second you had pulled me to you again, this time into a soft kiss. The sensitive affection quickly had turned into a heated desperation on both of our parts. It was the personification of the longing for all we had lost, the frantic accumulation of so many sleepless nights.

I allowed myself to get lost in your touches as you sought clemency. Some would say the union was one of pity. But how can that be when I needed to be forgiven just as badly as you did.

_I do. I do forgive you, Jack. Can you pardon me?_

The faint smell of cooper, the smell of human blood, wafts towards me. My stomach flips. Why do you cause so much pain to yourself? What is it that pains you so?

An answer to my inquisition comes in small jolts of words. I refuse to delve completely into you without your consent. I'm not even sure if I can.

Your mind quivers in terror. Forgotten. Is that what your deepest nightmare is? Oh Jack. What have I done? I've hurt many people, unintentionally, but to cripple the strength that had shone in you is overwhelming. I don't know how you hide your pain to the others; how you've become the leader you are. You truly have grown into an asset for this Earth.

That thought shakes me. You have contributed so much that the people of this planet don't know about already. How much longer must you fight? About as long as me, I assume. Now I realize why you're so worried.

Your work is here. Mine is out there. I would be deceiving myself if I thought that perhaps I could pick you back up and drag you back along with me. One would think after nine hundred plus years parting with companions would be easier. It never is especially now.

I will have to leave you again. The thought leaves me cold. I reach out to wrap my arms closer around you, seeking refuge against your skin. I will never abandon you like that again.

I inhale deeply to imprint your smell into my mind. My hands fold flat, one against your back, one against your chest, feeling your lungs expand and retreat gently. Your single heart drums lightly. I loose myself in your rhythm in the small hope that I will be able to remember this capture throughout my days.

I _won't forget_ anything about you. How could I possibly forget you, my Captain?

I owe you so much for keeping your faith in me to the last. Even if our journeys lead us in opposite paths, I swear I will never completely leave you. No matter who enters and exits either of our lives, I promise you one thing. I will _always_ be your Doctor.

Look, you stupid ape. You lot have manages to domesticate me just a little bit after all. Maybe I am too sentimental now. You know what? It's not so bad.


End file.
